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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:45 am 
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Welcome back, Kyos! I have a tendency to look over old posts and I always wonder what happened to a lot of old members who never appeared again and you were one of them. I'm glad to hear you're alive and well. Anyways, sorry to hear you have been unlucky on the heart front. As you can see you are not alone and remember, you can find support in a lot of us here, so if you ever want to be open about it, you can do so here.

Anyway, so I'm facing a similiar dilemma as I did with Cynthia/June, and this dilemma so happens to be with her friend. We are both carless, but I could get a ride for her and me to go somewhere, but I might be getting a car soon and she lives in sort of a bad neighborhood and my parents and me had a talk about it and we thought: "Okay, you could go but what about the future? What if something happens between the two of you and you have to run the risk of taking her there or going to where she lives everytime?" And I didn't know what to answer. The truth is, even though things are a lot calmer in my town, one still has to be very careful. So I'm not sure what to do here or if I should do anything at all.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:17 pm 
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I don't think I ever met this Kyos fellow :o !

Anyways, welcome back.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:26 pm 
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Kyos wrote:
Pretty sure nobody has any idea who I am


Yeah, I remember you.

:evil:

I'm just messin with ya, seriously, good to have you back.

Kyos wrote:
skimming through some of the threads and seeing quite some of the old faces (so to speak ^^) still around and active - I like it a lot. Reminds me of how much I used to like this community and makes me want to come back more often in the future!


Funny you should say that, as I have a hunch this forum probably won't be very active in another year or two. And because most of us stay in touch through facebook, I think more and more people just don't bother with the site anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:28 pm 
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t3cii wrote:
Kyos wrote:
Pretty sure nobody has any idea who I am


Yeah, I remember you.

:evil:

I'm just messin with ya, seriously, good to have you back.

Kyos wrote:
skimming through some of the threads and seeing quite some of the old faces (so to speak ^^) still around and active - I like it a lot. Reminds me of how much I used to like this community and makes me want to come back more often in the future!


Funny you should say that, as I have a hunch this forum probably won't be very active in another year or two. And because most of us stay in touch through facebook, I think more and more people just don't bother with the site anymore.

I think instead people narrow down to a few threads.
I doubt this'll ever go totally inactive. Facebook gets too fucking touchy.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:07 pm 
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t3cii wrote:
Funny you should say that, as I have a hunch this forum probably won't be very active in another year or two. And because most of us stay in touch through facebook, I think more and more people just don't bother with the site anymore.


When we do, it's just mostly to prove t3cii he's wrong about The Dark Knight Rises.

8-)

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:01 am 
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Hey, Kyos. I don't think you know me, but I've seen your posts from way back when I was lurking and it's cool to have you back around. In fact, if you ever want to join the facebook group as well, the invitation's always open.

P.S. Women ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks~Gandhi

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 8:56 pm 
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So, I need to vent a bit here.

Six or seven years ago, I met a girl called Michelle thanks to a girl that was a friend of mine back then. We liked each other almost immediately. We went out once and because I was an idiot back then, I didn't see her again.

Then sometimes, we would bump into each other at the mall or in different events. But we never really followed through contact with each other. Then one day, almost four years ago we were at an IMAX showing of Star Trek and we didn't realize we had been in the same theater until we left it. Around that time, her friend was dating a friend of some other friends of mine, so they started hanging out together and forming their own social group. And after that, we started seeing and talking to each other more frequently.

One day she tells me that she has a crush on me and I tell her I feel the same way. But I had or have this thing where I sort of shut off my feelings when I'm with someone or when someone gets close to me. And this happened with her. When we went out again, I wasn't very nice to her I must admit or wouldn't really return her gestures. I think we both finally decided that it wasn't right for us to date or we just drifted apart, I don't remember.

Around that time, she was starting to become really religious but then some disagreements and disappointments happened with that group of people. And that group of friends were really harsh on her because she wanted to go to college to study Art and they also made fun of her religious beliefs. I always defended her and supported her.

After that religious disappointment, she got closer to that group of friends and they started getting pretty wild on alcohol and drugs. So she tried them a few times, and although I wasn't there, I learned that she did some pretty crazy stuff and apparently that side of her never really turned around.

What happened next is a little fuzzy because I started to really separate myself from that group of people, and she also separated herself from me. But we would talk from time to time. I learned she had enrolled in the local university, but was going to go to Guadalajara to continue her studies. At this time, we were both single and I flirted with her again. And I also apologized for being mean to her in the past. She was okay with both things.

But one day, she stopped replying. And I noticed she didn't have a Facebook or anything more. I thought she had blocked me, but I asked her friends and it turns out they didn't know what had happened to her. So I just took it she was turning over a new leaf in Guadalajara.

And just a little while ago, a friend of mine posted that he was going to the hospital and she replied with a comment. I thought "Oh, she's back!" so I tried to add her. A while later, I check back my friend's post and her comment was gone. I took it she had blocked me. She had made a new Facebook and had these friends of mine who had been mean and unfair to her before and added them, but me, even though I wasn't the nicest guy, I was more supportive and caring of her than them, I get the block.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:42 pm 
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I get that you're heartbroken and all -- believe me, I totally do -- but it sounds like you're well shut of her. Based strictly on your description of her, she sounds to me like someone desperate for attention, obsessed with finding a place to fit in, and way too concerned with what others think of her. You're better off letting someone else get stuck with her, as any relationship she's in is likely to be one-sided.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:53 pm 
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Curiosity Inc. wrote:
I get that you're heartbroken and all -- believe me, I totally do -- but it sounds like you're well shut of her. Based strictly on your description of her, she sounds to me like someone desperate for attention, obsessed with finding a place to fit in, and way too concerned with what others think of her. You're better off letting someone else get stuck with her, as any relationship she's in is likely to be one-sided.


Yeah, Curi. I guess you're right. That sucks, but God bless her and whoever she ends up with. I can only hope life gets better for her.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:51 am 
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She blocked you? Jeez, that's harsh, dude. Sierra hasn't even blocked or unfriended me on facebook yet. I'm still not quite sure I understand that.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:06 am 
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Yeah, and as far as I knew, she never told me she had any problems with me.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:23 pm 
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I'm going to need a bit of advice here, guys.

First of all, there's Diana. We first met in high school, though I don't seem to recall that we were ever very close. We probably met through her brother -- he was an autistic kid in special ed and I was grappling with my Asperger's. But I digress.

In the summer of 2008, I finally got it in my head to get back in touch with Diana and ask her out. We met for dinner, and we had a great time. The week after that, we go out to dinner again and things go great. Then, the week after that... I was in a central Oregon forest on an ecoinformatics internship. Crappy planning on my part, I know.

Still, I traded a few messages with her over the summer, hoping we'd meet up again when I got back. A couple months later, and the internship is almost done. I go onto Facebook to send her a message... and I see that she's gotten to dating someone else. Without telling me.

I realize that this was inevitable, but it still hurt. It was months before I could bring myself to contact her again. When I finally asked her what happened, she said "I am sorry, I had not realized how seriously you had taken our dates, or how interested you were in me. I honestly don't think it would be worth your time to have any interest in me." She added "I will break your heart. Trust me. I am not going to put you through that."

That was back in 2009. Flash forward to 2013, and I've found that she's now single again.

What do you think, guys? Is four years enough time to give it one more try?

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:42 pm 
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Curiosity Inc. wrote:
What do you think, guys? Is four years enough time to give it one more try?


Why bother? From what you've said, you only went on two dates, and while you had a great time, it doesn't sound like you went any further than that. When you did see her again, she was dating someone else. And when you broached the subject of her dating someone else, it sounded like she was surprised you had taken those dates seriously. She said "I honestly don't think it would be worth your time to have any interest in me." and "I will break your heart. Trust me. I am not going to put you through that." That kind of sounds like she's sparing your feelings, the whole "it's not you, it's me", routine. Whatever the case was, it didn't sound like she was all that interested. After four years, I think that ship might have sailed, sorry to say.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:46 pm 
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Curiosity Inc. wrote:
I'm going to need a bit of advice here, guys.

First of all, there's Diana. We first met in high school, though I don't seem to recall that we were ever very close. We probably met through her brother -- he was an autistic kid in special ed and I was grappling with my Asperger's. But I digress.

In the summer of 2008, I finally got it in my head to get back in touch with Diana and ask her out. We met for dinner, and we had a great time. The week after that, we go out to dinner again and things go great. Then, the week after that... I was in a central Oregon forest on an ecoinformatics internship. Crappy planning on my part, I know.

Still, I traded a few messages with her over the summer, hoping we'd meet up again when I got back. A couple months later, and the internship is almost done. I go onto Facebook to send her a message... and I see that she's gotten to dating someone else. Without telling me.

I realize that this was inevitable, but it still hurt. It was months before I could bring myself to contact her again. When I finally asked her what happened, she said "I am sorry, I had not realized how seriously you had taken our dates, or how interested you were in me. I honestly don't think it would be worth your time to have any interest in me." She added "I will break your heart. Trust me. I am not going to put you through that."

That was back in 2009. Flash forward to 2013, and I've found that she's now single again.

What do you think, guys? Is four years enough time to give it one more try?

I dunno how much my advice is valued here after everything, but I say go for it. Sometimes women say that to keep decent guys at bay cause those are the ones they really don't want to end up hurting. This doesn't mean she wouldn't be worth pursuing. I mean, after all, the ultimate downside would be you ending up single again, maybe a little hurt. Some proper music and some consoling from us bros and we'll see to it that you're right as rain before long. Not to mention the whole no risk - no reward adage.
I'm not getting my thoughts out very linear-like but, I guess ultimately the thing is all relationships are a leap of faith.
Girls who don't mean to hurt us, destroy us.
And the ones who're convinced they will, might just be the best for us.
Good luck whatever you decide to do man.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:52 pm 
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Curi-I have one question to ask. Do you still stay in touch with her? Do you talk to her at all? In short: Are you two friends?

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:53 pm 
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NiteOwl wrote:
Curiosity Inc. wrote:
And the ones who're convinced they will, might just be the best for us.
Good luck whatever you decide to do man.


Ehhhhhh.............

I'm gonna side with t3cii on this one. This isn't a movie where the femme fatale tells the hero how she'll break his heart, right before they fuck--it's a variation of the many variations on the "it's not you, it's me" line. Except of course it's you--she's not interested. If she was, she would have stuck around and things would have been different. So yeah, I wouldn't bother.


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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:23 pm 
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SkaOreo wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Curiosity Inc. wrote:
And the ones who're convinced they will, might just be the best for us.
Good luck whatever you decide to do man.


Ehhhhhh.............

I'm gonna side with t3cii on this one. This isn't a movie where the femme fatale tells the hero how she'll break his heart, right before they fuck--it's a variation of the many variations on the "it's not you, it's me" line. Except of course it's you--she's not interested. If she was, she would have stuck around and things would have been different. So yeah, I wouldn't bother.

She went out with him twice, I seriously doubt she would've gone out with him at all if it boiled down to simply that.
But...

how the hell did you quote that so oddly?

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:22 pm 
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NiteOwl wrote:
SkaOreo wrote:
NiteOwl wrote:
Curiosity Inc. wrote:
And the ones who're convinced they will, might just be the best for us.
Good luck whatever you decide to do man.


Ehhhhhh.............

I'm gonna side with t3cii on this one. This isn't a movie where the femme fatale tells the hero how she'll break his heart, right before they fuck--it's a variation of the many variations on the "it's not you, it's me" line. Except of course it's you--she's not interested. If she was, she would have stuck around and things would have been different. So yeah, I wouldn't bother.

She went out with him twice, I seriously doubt she would've gone out with him at all if it boiled down to simply that.
But...

how the hell did you quote that so oddly?


1. I dunno...?
2. So? I went out with a girl twice and it lead to nothing. If a girl likes you, you will be the first one to know. At the very least, she's not gonna go and date another guy if she actually was interested in him.


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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:30 pm 
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TheMovieDude wrote:
Curi-I have one question to ask. Do you still stay in touch with her? Do you talk to her at all? In short: Are you two friends?

Our relationship at present begins and ends on Facebook.

The thing that sticks with me is that I feel we never really had a fair shot. It was stupid of me to try and start up a relationship mere days before I was scheduled to go out of town for so long. Also, she didn't know then that I was planning to try for a long-term relationship. Now she does.

More importantly, it's been four years. I'm not the same guy I was four years ago, and I doubt she is either. Her last relationship lasted a good long time, so maybe something about her changed. Maybe she's not the heartbreaker she used to be.

I honestly don't know, but I don't see the harm in asking. Still, of all the girls who've shattered my heart over the years, I've never given any of them the chance to do it twice.

EDIT: ...Aaaaaaand it looks like someone else asked her out first. Never mind.

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 Post subject: Re: Women
PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2013 1:14 pm 
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As of last night I can no longer see, only on my girlfriends profile, that we're in a relationship; It still says it on mine though. Also, on her tumblr bio she used to have a line about the person she's been n love with since she was 16 (me) and... that's gone too. she says that she can still see our relationship status and she got a new theme the other day on tumblr... but since I mentioned it to her she's both updated Tumblr and her facebook profile... and neither are visible.

Then, she said she's "not feeling well" so she probably won't be hanging out with our friends tonight like she has on pretty much every Thursday for the last year... i know she says she's not feeling well, but she pretty much always says she's not feeling well.

I'm kind of upset, because she's been emotional lately and I feel like these are the Silver Surfer to a Galactus sized break up...

I don't know what to do guys...

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